Tonight I struggle with anger. The anger of working hard for
the things I want…yet having them still just out of my reach. My good grades aren’t even satisfying. I would
rather have all Cs and have the things that truly mattered to my heart. A grade
is just a silly letter anyhow. I’m tired. Tired of missing people and wondering
if they care enough about me to ease that pain with their presence. I’m tired
of the struggles inside. Of looking at my skin and knowing I’m doing better,
but still feeling like it’s not good enough because I still have to think about
not touching it. I want it to be automatic. I want everything to flow
naturally. I’m tired of working for insufficient pay; of trying hard and
holding on to the good while letting go of the bad, and still finding no
relief. Tonight I will go to bed early and dream of things I will wake up only
to miss again.
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