The Face of My Progress

Wanna know something that's a big deal to me? It may not seem big if you don't understand the way Dermatillomania impacts those who have it, and if you don't understand Derma in that way, I highly suggest reading about it. My big deal today is that I have a giant zit on my forehead. It's been there for two days, and I haven't touched it. The same thing happened about two weeks ago with another large, sore breakout. Yes it bothers me. Yes it hurts. But I know it would hurt me more to try and "fix" a very natural process of my body. And somehow, I've been able to run with those positive thoughts. The lesson I am learning from this is that if you think something enough times, you can put it into practice. All of the time I've spent on this blog and all of the talk I've talked about letting mother nature do her thing and knowing I shouldn't bother my skin is paying off lately. If you understand Dermatillomania enough, you will also understand what kind of inner peace and progress my skin is reflecting in the picture below.






I may have mentioned this before, but something that really helped me get to where I am right now is a comment my ex made about my picking. Now, normally, nothing that anyone who isn't a sufferer has to say about my picking really helps. Usually, it just embarrasses me and makes me want to hide my skin from them. But what he had to say really did help. He basically introduced the unimaginable idea that picking wasn't healthy! But rather than saying "just quit it" or making some impossible demand, he explained that squeezing a blackhead or pimple was acceptable when said blemish was ready, but that if you did it too soon, it would just make it worse. For me, this internalized the concept that I didn't have to never ever ever touch my skin again...I just had to wait until it was ready to be touched and do it the right way. No tools. No aggression. No panic. Just a calm, peaceful squeeze when my skin showed me that it was ready for my help.

I hope that by sharing this little tidbit, others will come to experience the progress I have.
And I sincerely plan on keeping things headed in this positive direction.


I am healing.

Accept YOU for YOU

I am proud.
I'm in a difficult spot, yet my skin doesn't reflect the inner turmoil for a change.
I'm emotionally frustrated. I'm hopeful. I'm angry. I'm determined. And sometimes I'm drained.
I have that compulsive urge to "fix", but it's not directed at my skin; it's directed at my situation.
I'm pushing and fighting for what I need and what I deserve.
Respect me.
I don't care how old I am or what my skin looks like. I don't care if you're sexually frustrated and think I'm the cure for your dry spell. I don't care if you think your faith gives you all the answers and my lack thereof makes me clueless. Talk to me with respect. Make the effort to be good to me, or stop wasting my time. It's really not hard.
There's a lesson here. Stop pushing what you want on other people and accept them for what they are. That includes yourself. Stop hiding behind expectations and social norms. Talk about your squishy, emotional, sappy feelings as a man without shame. Having a penis doesn't make you innately stoic; that's society's doing. Don't let them control you. As a woman, be proud of a healthy body, no matter what number size it may come in or how much shame a magazine tells you ought to go with it. As a picker, flaunt the scars of the past with pride, knowing you may have lost battles, but you're still fighting the war and winning so long as you don't give up.
Accept YOU for who YOU are. And make others do the same if they're going to be in your life.
Of course, how can anyone accept you if you don't let them know who you really are?