Am I Loveable?

I pray anyone who reads will take my words and apply any to their lives that seem suitable...in the hopes that I may help them while I try to help myself...


As mentioned before, self-love is something that I feel I lack.
In turn, I feel that my lack of self love contributes to the way I treat my body.

I am in search of reasons why I am loveable.
But I seem to find more reasons why I'm not.

Why should my religious parents love me as much as my brother when he is religious and I am an atheist? Why should I be loved as much when their beliefs are against me...my hopes, my dreams, and most of what I do? Why should I be loved? For each thing I'm criticized for, I question: Why should I be loved? By other people...or by myself. Why should I love myself when it is "ME" who has allowed myself to be trampled by others in the past? When it's "ME" who didn't stand up and say "I'm equal, and I don't need you in my life" or "Your drinking is hurting me too much and I deserve better"? I have not loved myself properly. I have loved others much more. I have placed their feelings before mine...which isn't an entirely bad thing. But when I sacrifice myself for others entirely, and forget to love myself, that's when things go wrong. When I hide my beliefs for the sake of keeping my family happy...when I forget about my needs as a person and stuff it all inside to keep peace and hope to feel loved for my sacrifice. I continue the circle. And I'm learning that I hate circles.

I find myself scratching as I write those things.

I want to be loved.

And the only way I will ever feel truly loved is if I love myself first and foremost.

And I'm going to start by making a list of reasons why I should. And perhaps anyone reading should try the same and see how they feel afterward.

Why I'm Worth Loving:

I am kind to others
I do my best not to hurt anyone
I want to do good things
I love to create beautiful things
I love other people
I have a lot of love to give
I am honest
I always mean well
I am sweet
I am a good person and I know it
I work hard
I follow the golden rule as much as I can
I try to focus on the important things


Perhaps I will add more later if I can think of any more...