Alone

I presently live in a house with five other people. Yet I feel alone. I know my family loves me, and I forgive my parents for the things they've done that hurt me because I know it was not their intent, but I can't help but be faced with the thought- if I were not related to them, I'm not the kind of person they would choose to love and hold in their lives. If I were any other atheist girl walking down the street, they would not care. I sense my presence as an obligation to many family members as they feel the tension of their beliefs being challenged by my lack of agreement. How can a girl raised in such a good family go sour? Well, we've identified the official black sheep. Let's keep the little ones away from her- she's a threat. I am not happy here. And I can't help but feel like it's time to move on with my life and start seeking the materials to build a family of my own.... even if that family is just me and an apartment full of cats.

 

 Maybe it's a matter of just wanting someone who I feel does not judge me for my beliefs...for my skin...for my disorder...for anything, really. I want a home, and a companion...good food, a fireplace, and peace. And I really don't feel like that's too much to ask for.