My reasons? I figured if I was going to mess with my skin, I might as well use a sterile tool made especially for removing black and white heads (since having sonething "in" my skin is by far the biggest trigger for me) that claimed to be "gentle" on the skin, rather than my dirty, damaging fingernails.
At least my intentions were good, right?But I really don't know what I was thinking. And I must say, I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, it has helped me get that urge out without doing near as much damage on some of my trouble spots. But on the other hand, there are other times when it leaves huge welts that I just want to mess with more and leaves me looking like I have chicken pox.
I've decided that there may be a time and place for such a tool, but in the hands of a dermatillomaniac is not one of them.
Allowing myself to take yet another "tool" to my face is not what I need. It will only perpetuate the idea of messing with and "perfecting" my skin.
My skin is beautiful. And those blackheads, whiteheads, scabs, and scars are there for a reason, even if I don't like them.
Mother Nature knows what she's doing. It's a rare event that she doesn't heal me when I'm sick, or heal my wounds, no matter how many times I mess with them. And I need to meditate more on the concept of letting her take care of my sores and skin instead of trying to have control. Perhaps envisioning that I have my own personal skin care-taker will help me leave it alone.
And in the meantime, the "skin tool" is getting put away...maybe even thrown away.
I will heal.
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