My Role Models VS Me and My Goals

I recently received a rather large compliment from somebody I care about. I was told that I was a strong woman with a good head on my shoulders. They said they were impressed with my ability to “bounce back”. These are things I strive for every day, and it was good to hear that not only did someone else noticed my efforts, but that apparently I was succeeding without realizing it. This compliment came at a time in my day and week when I didn't feel so strong. And it reminded me that I need to go a little easier on myself. I always admire people who can bounce back and are level headed and smart, because I want that for me. It got me to thinking...

I think the people we admire and the reasons we admire them say a lot about the kind of person we want to be, as well as the kind of person we are inside.

I’ve mentioned before looking up to my grandmother for her determination, patience, forgiveness, and love despite many obstacles and pains. I’ve always thought she was amazing, but it wasn’t until I got a little older that I understood just how amazing she really was.

I had several role models growing up, many of whom I still admire. And I think what I admire in each person says something about the kind of girl I want to be. By analyzing what it is that I like about these role models, perhaps I can formulate some goals for myself in an effort to be able to better develop those same qualities in myself and improve my self-love. I think I would love myself a lot more if I was the kind of person I truly wanted to be. Wouldn’t you? Perhaps this in an “exercise” you could try too.

Role models throughout my life:

1. The Dancers of River Dance

When I was little (see photo below), my grandfather and I would watch River Dance together every time I stayed the night with him and my grandmother. These women (and men) were amazingly talented, looked happy, were doing something they loved, and some of them even had fabulous curly princess hair. Fun fact: I always wanted curly hair when I was little, and I ended up getting my wish granted at age 12. Before that, my hair was quite straight:

Plus, who the heck wouldn't want to do this when it looks like so much fun?:

(Ya dig that 90s hair?)


What this says about me/ my goals: I want to be happy doing something I love and am good at, which makes perfect sense given my love for artistic expression. Doing more writing, singing, etc. would be a good way to improve my self-love.

2. Pocahontas (the movie character)

 

I’m quite aware that there is some debate between cultures as to how much of a real “hero” the real Pocahontas was, given that it sounds as though she turned her back on her people for a cute boy, so I’m just talking about the Disney movie character.

In the days before kindergarten, I probably watched this every other day. Pocahontas was adventurous, brave, stood up for what was right, and protected someone she loved from harm. She was a fantastic singer, had rad animal friends (I always wished I could get a bird to sit on my finger and dive off a cliff into a perfectly animated pond and come out unscathed), and between her clothing and hair, she just looked free-spirited. I even had a favorite, gigantic rock outside by the back fence that I would crouch on like Pocahontas did in the scene where John Smith encounters her near a waterfall. I always wanted to live in as beautiful of a place as she did.

This was always my favorite part: 

What this says about me/ my goals: I want to be more adventurous and have more bravery. I want to stand up for what’s right and protect those I love. I want to be a good singer. I want to be more in touch with nature, and be free. I want to live somewhere beautiful without obnoxiously tall buildings and loud cars one day. I want a cozy cabin in the forest with a fireplace. Or a teepee with a campfire.

3. Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz

Dorothy ran away from home because she felt unloved. She soon realized that she was loved all along and had taken her family for granted. She went on a grand adventure, faced her fears, and met wonderful friends as she tried to find her way in the world. But in the end, she knew that the most important thing was the simple love and company of family.

What this says about me/ my goals: Sometimes I feel unloved, but I know that my family is important and they care. I personally feel that I have left home and am learning just how important they are to me. I’m trying to face some fears right now and learn to stand on my own two feet, and I’m meeting some wonderful people on this journey of mine, but in the end, I know that I can always return to grandma’s house when things go wrong. I want to get better at facing my fears, and I’m glad I’m learning to appreciate my family a little more.

4. Natalie Portman (Hershlag)

I admire Natalie for not only having talent, but keeping her personal life, marriage, and child out of the tabloids and not trying to make money off of mindless drama. She also doesn’t pull stunts out of desperation for media attention. She’s lovely, she’s low key, and in her interviews, she seems down to earth despite having both beauty and having graduated from Harvard on top of a serious career and talent. In short, she’s the opposite of the untalented, uneducated, attention-whoring Kardashian family. Yes, I said it. Natalie is a well-rounded, well-educated person, looks and talent aside.

What this says about me/ my goals: I never want to be a greedy-money hungry piece of trash. In fact, I kind of hate money because it gets in the way of so many things and people spend too much time chasing it so they can buy “things”. Things were meant to be used, and people were meant to be loved, but in this backward and fucked up world, people are being used, and money is being loved. I want it all: the brains, the talent, the success, the looks, and to seal the deal, I just want to be a down-to-earth, loving, lovable person. 

5. Hilary Duff/ Lizzie McGuire 

Ah, middle school. It was a tough time, and sometimes it was nice to watch Lizzie McGuire and remember that it was a tough time for everyone. Knowing that even someone as sweet and cute and nice as Lizzie (Hilary Duff) could be considered a nerd and a loser made me feel a little better about the fact that I felt like one. Overall, She was real and dealt with the same types of issues I was dealing with at the time.

Later, after her acting days in Lizzie McGuire were over, Hilary Duff kept most of her private life out of the media, and married a hockey player. They now have a son, and she seems like a healthy, happy woman with a realistic and healthy body and a realistic and healthy grasp on the important things in life. Hilary also did some singing, and some of the messages in her music helped me power through those tough middle school years. Some of her music even helps me now still.

What this says about me/ my goals: I want to be someone who can help people though their problems and help pick them up when they are down. I want a simple life, maybe a kid or two. In fact, I want one son and one daughter so I can treat them both equally and watch them grow into amazing people, without too much social influence if I can help it. I want them to be who they truly are without pressure to behave a certain way just because they have a penis or vagina. I want to be healthy and happy, and I want healthy, happy children and a healthy happy husband to share my world and family with. I want simplicity and realism. I don’t need clubs, parties, fame, or money to satisfy me. In fact, I don’t want them at all, really. I’m not against a good night out, don’t get me wrong. But relying on those things to feel good is not healthy.

6. Selena Quintanilla

This woman had the voice, the talent, the kindness and the loving personality, and she worked hard to get that success. She was sassy, dressed in crazy costumes she designed herself, and had a wonderful time just being herself and loving others. She got married at age 20 despite her father not accepting the man she loved because he was rough around the edges. She saw the good in him, and she had the courage to do what she had to do in order to have both love and success. (By the way, yes, that's me on the right after realizing my new hat and bra looked familiar).

What this says about me/ my goals: I want love and success. I don’t want to care what others think of who I love, and I want to be remembered for my loving spirit and the creativity and beauty of my self-expression.

7. Fran The Nanny

A middle-class, thrifty, working woman from a poor area, who has the audacity to dress in these wild outfits with wild hair, who is a down to earth, quirky girl with a love for cheetah print, and who has a hopeless love for an older man (from a classy and wealthy family) who isn’t ready for commitment and is constantly wishy-washy about whether or not he loves her.


Gee, some of that sounds familiar:

Fran is comfortable with herself, crazy, quirky, and lovable. She’s down to earth and loves her family. And though she could be a little more intelligent, she’s funny and kind.

The actress Fran Drescher herself actually got raped at gunpoint in front of her husband, and later faced a divorce when her husband realized he was gay. So you might say I admire both Frans; the character for the reasons above, and the actress for her resilience in the face of tragedy.

What this says about me/ my goals: I want to be comfortable with myself, even if I stick out like a sore thumb. I want to simply be me and be loveable. I want to make people laugh and smile, and know that I don’t have to be the prettiest, the wealthiest, the smartest, or the brightest in order to be loveable.